tick me off

I had no plans to blog about this but the last couple days I randomly encountered some people during my lunch hour; running around; business meetings; via friends who got a bit on my nerves. Usually, I smile and brush it off - I have a pretty joyous nature. But today I when I was with Vlindertje, and I had to address one particular issue with an individual. We were on our way back from the mall and this person addressed me in front of Vlindertje. He complimented me on my legs, and my eyes. Vlindertje and I were both very uncomfortable with his approach In addition he stepped into my personal space, and was obviously drunk [ 6:00 PM EST]. I friendly asked him to step aside and not to speak with me anymore but he ignored me. When he was about to lay his hands on Vlindertje's hair, I had to intervene less diplomatic. I also buzzed BB, who came to the rescue within five minutes.

After this incident, I spoke to my brother and Camy. They understood the urgency especially considering my overall diplomatic and gentle demeanor We started to talk about what would tick us off and by the time I hung up the phone I was laughing with tears in my eyes. Of course I'm sharing our " did I tick you off???" list.



HOW TO TICK ME OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper,
99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while
talking to me.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather
conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything I say with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to
me [your boss].
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with
prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your
ears and grimacing.
13 Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge
across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while every time I'm counting [ one time is
funny]
15. When I almost about to seat say " Sit dog"
16. When you refer to yourself and yourself only as "we"
17. Adjust the tint on my HD that all the people are green, and tell me
that "everyone else likes it that way"
18. Staple pages in the middle of the page
19. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
20. Make a certain sound by putting you hand under your arm pit and
and make motions
21. Honk and wave to strangers and scream out the window how lucky
you are that's I'm your date tonight
22. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their
complimentary mints at the cash register.
23. TYPE IN UPPERCASE
24 type only in lowercase, in official letters
25 Don't use any punctuation either in memos
26. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole
streets.
27. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times."DO YOU HEAR
THAT?""What?""Never mind, it's gone now."
28. As much as possible, skip rather than walk in company of my
professional network.
29. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of
your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up,"
and repeat.
30. Ask my mother what gender she is
31. While making presentations, bob your head like a parakeet every 2
minutes
33. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if
they slow down.
34. Sing along at the opera in presence of my President and my mother.
35. Go to my poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
36. On our first social event with my co-workers ask my co-workers
mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook.
37. Mutter something about "psychological profiles"
38. Start dinner while my father is still praying and use your fingers
instead of our silverware.
39. Drop and break my mother's China, and give then comment
that we now have a great excuse to replace our "ugly China" which
actually is handmade china we inherited from my great
grandmother.
40. Ask my mother that you always wanted to know if Asian actually see
less because of the narrowness of our eyes.

What ticks you off?



Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com