Friendship

I have been working on this post for a while before I decide to post it today. My friends from Paris and Amsterdam visited me and it was great to see them again. They brought me Giovanna Guglielmi and Maria Barros (Italian and Spanish designers), spring collection items. I hooked up one of my girls with my realtor a couple of weeks ago and they seem to enjoy each other's company. Although I was happy to see my girls, I was also a little bit annoyed by the fact that the girl who I hooked up with my realtor apparently came to DC a couple of days ago and only came for a crash visit with me.
She and I have been friends since kindergarten. And to me, my friendships with my home girls are more important then a guy. Now, you spend five days with my realtor without given me a call you're in town, and when you do visit me you stay for 30 minutes.. COME ON....

Then in addition to this, I felt a little bit upset about King. Well not King himself but issues that involved him. We're both busy people and that's a good thing. We talk intensively about various subjects and our conversations are of substance. He's in CA and I'm in DC and we knew there would be a time were it would be hard for us to deal with the long distance part of our developing friendship. I made it clear to him that I'm only focusing on him. Again I'm an 101 man-woman person, in fact I told several of my admirers about King. Maybe a little bit premature but, I want to be honest and clear about where I stand and what I want. Nobody else has my full attention and devotion. Today I had left him a note on his website. A sweet note from me to him to let him know I was thinking of him. And I posted it anonymous but with words he and I only know. Then all over the sudden I saw that some of his fans had left him messages such as:
Oh what a nice comment you made about the pictures I've sent you. Oh, we should hook up some time.. call me.. I miss you.

There were a couple of those messages and I'm sure the pics he received were x rated - I'm not a possessive person, or very insecure. I only hope he's as clear about his feelings for me as I am about my feelings for him. It doesn't leave me a good feeling if he would continue to "feed" certain behavior while he and I are developing our friendship. Maybe men think differently, I don't know. I really don't. Bottom line is that I'm a bit sensitive this week. Friendship, loyalty and honesty are so important to me. Ultimately I want King to be my best friend, but that takes time. We do need to spend time together physically, but I also have a life with friends, aspirations, a friend who's dying, my Vlindertje, my relocation, a new career.. I cannot just drop that for him although he would like to have me in CA yesterday. Do I trust him, especially considering his position, his profession and so on. Yes, so far I do. Am I prepared [if we develop our friendship into a relationship] to deal with adoring fans on a daily basis? I'm not sure if I want/can deal with that.

Normally as an Aries, I would take action before I think. However, I've hit my head too many times that way. So this post is b/c letter to myself. This week I had some great moments with King; extremely spiritual and bonding, let me focus on that. He wants me to be there with him, that counts as well. So maybe I should brush this feeling off my shoulders. Or not...And what exactly is it that I feel...? It is most of all discomfort, I believe. Yes, that's the word. Discomfort in a developing friendship. How odd..


To be continued.

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com