Losing you

At least once a day I receive one phone call from my friends, or relatives in Europe. What amazed me when I first came here, I was surprised that visiting family or even keeping in touch with family and friends was a holiday matter as oppose to a day to day activity. I guess living in Europe where distance is not an issue provides the opportunity to stay in touch with family and friends more frequently.

Today my friend Ton gave me a buzz and that totally surprised me. Back in the day, Ton and I traveled together for business and pleasure. My mother and friends brought me in touch with Ton. Ton was in need of a personal life coach;Voila ici! A fruitful collaboration was born. As a designer, Ton traveled to Milan, Rome, Cannes, Paris, New York and so forth. Little Miss Me was so fortunate to accompany Ton on several business trips even when he had his boyfriend with him. On one occasion he kicked out his then BF to have a "girl's" night of doing our nails and gossiping about celebs he dressed. When I left to the US [and Ton took a break from work] we lost touch.

It was a major but pleasant surprise to hear his voice again. Ton and I chitchat about celebs of course; his BF; and his new line. Then it hit me hard, he told me that he was diagnosed with AIDS and that he feels his sunset it approaching. All I could do was cry. In a previous post I went on and on about Russian Roulette and cheating. Ton always protected himself but when he would be in a steady and committed relationship, then he and his partner would decide [after testing] to have unprotected sex. He tested HIV positive a couple of years ago, after he found out his partner was positive. The disease has progressed and Ton is suffering from co diseases.

He asked me if we could make a trip to Milan again; me, him and Vlindertje. How can I say "no" to his request... I guess I'll be traveling back to Milan in April and maybe celebrate my birthday with Ton, if he can make it. He sounded so vulnerable and weak, so not the Ton I know for years.

This news affects me more then I realized. Ultimately I knew we would lose Ton but I wasn't prepared for it as yet, if I ever could be prepared to lose a close and dear friend. I'm not sure if I'll be able to post a lot the next couple of days.but I'll be around.


Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com