My best friend's wedding

To all my readers,

My apologies, I neglected my blog and there's no excuse. My life has been a roller coaster. I've been involved with the development of a great new magazine with focus on improvement of love, sex and relationships, In addition, I had to make some though decisions both professionally and personally. But I'm back to share with you some of what's been going on.

First things first, King, DD and Persian and I are still friends but after my best buddy and I started to date I realized how foolish I've been. He was there all the time, right before my eyes and I never considered dating him. It was confusing and awkward in the beginning thusly I had my guards up of course. A best friend doesn't equal a  great partner. Hence my absence on my blog, because I felt it would be unfair for Bud to post about my experiences. 

We are still exploring the opportunities, very cautious and open. He's the best thing ever happened to me. We always connected tremendously but since we started dating, we seem to connect even better. Our pillow talk takes hours and hours - each day. And every time we both regret ending our conversation to actually go to bed. As we spend more and more time together, we realize how special it is to have your best friend as a potential partner. 

I'm afraid - yes you read it well - afraid to lose my heart.  It's almost too perfect that I try to find reasons and insecurities not to engage or pursue this relationship.  The last week I have nightmares about his wedding, after watching my best friend's wedding.  What if I don't open up? What if he got what he wanted and I'm a ship passing through the night? He's the most beautiful person on the inside and out I've ever met. We're soul mates. I discovered that our heart's beat at the same rhythm. We think of each other and than call each other at the same time. And we always done that, but now I see it

Well, time will tell. I loved this man before we started dating and now we are dating I'm afraid to love him more....

Life is such a bitch

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Poetry - Suave

Sweetest Love, Honey Love, Suave Love
No more sense of sensing the foregone now I've met your spirit
I cannot desist your sweet soft sound, that sends me high to the finest stellar in my sky.

I fall apart, falling deep and hard, for you my love - for you
Your spirit and soul took over control so fast as a beam of lightning, almost frightening
Your consciences, keep me wide awake as an addict for the sweetest Chardonnay,
so suave

Gently I drink, lip you as liquid into me
Your velvet thoughts nourish, and remain deep within
Just like a waterfall you're there around it all
You stare at me from everywhere you stare
Now I shine in my bare naked emotions
it makes me fall, falling deep and elusive
Spin, Spinning until I twine into the conceiving of your dreams
Alluring and seductively I soar on the air you breathe
Imagine our love making, my moonlight, gleam as a beacon in the night
Float on the waves of suave passions now elude, elude and never be out of my sight



copyright © lotus tresor marie 2008

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Purest of Pain

I spoke to my girl Mos about heartaches and I remember one time I was heartbroken. I listened to Son By Four's Purest of Pain.

It's such a beautiful song that I want to share the lyrics with you. There's no heartache anymore but the song still has a special meaning;

I'm sorry I didn't mean to call but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm gonna to live with out you
and maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but there's something baby that you need to know
that deep inside me
I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you
it's all that I'm asking.
Vida, give me back my fantasies
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
carino mio,
my world becomes so empty
my day's are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain.
I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
that it didn't hurt me when you walked away
but to tell you the truth
I can't find my way
and deep inside me
I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.
Vida, give me back...



Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Russian Roulette

Recently I reflected on a situation whereas an individual was given notice that he was tested HIV positive. After this, he spoke with [@least] one former [s]ex partner to share the news.

When you ever imagine a situation as this, you wonder how you will respond - will you be surprised; devastated; angry; depressed. After [Self] Reflection the next stage will be a choice whether you want to deal with the reality, and get tested or not.

Respect for your own body, and that from your partner is key here. If you have an active sexual life, that's your choice and you sleep in the bed you made. However, when you do decide to have multiple sex partners respect your, and that from all your sex partners. If you're a non-smoker and a smoker blows the secondary smoke in your face - the smoker's choice to smoke becomes your problem. In restaurants and public place we're protected. And when we have sex, we can decide - no, we MUST decide to protect ourselves and others.

Now person who was tested positive leads a high-risk life style [according to sources], but still exposed his ex partner willingly to the risk of HIV. Now yes, she should have been cautious too, however if you are in a relationship whereas you have all reason to believe its monogamous at a certain point in your relationship you might decide to have intercourse without the protection.

I don't have ANY Respect for Cheaters who don't protect their partner from the effects and consequences of their risk-behavior by choice. AIDS and HIV are life threatning diseases; if you don't respect; love yourself then at least don't be selfish and use a condom with your partner or with your other sex partners. If you want to play Russian Roulette, hey be my guest. Russian Roulette is a 101 game and doesn't involve your partner.

Oh, and my friend tested negative on all STDs and HIV yeaaaah!

For reference I have included some pictures showing the effects of AIDS. I hope that it will rock your world. Your Body is PRECIOUS AND LOVE and NURTURE it. HIV/AIDS doesn't discriminate it can happen to YOU

BESAFE

1)Tumor AIDS related

2) Herpes Simplex AIDS

3) Oral AIDS Effects

4) Man with AIDS Dehydrated

5) Woman with Karposi Sarcoma AIDS

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Love For Sale

Webber1: Hey it’s Webber1 haven’t seen you online for a while.
Angry Asian Cookie: Hello Happy Wednesday, I’ve been commuting from NY, DC and CA.
Webber1: You still don’t want to go out on a date with me?
Angry Asian Cookie: No Webber1; We can chat and say hi.
But I shared my opinion about this issue, and it’s definite.
Webber1: how about sex then– oral – anal – vaginal
Angry Asian Cookie: you didn’t get the message, did you? I tried to be polite, and diplomatic but I see it has no effect on you.
Webber1: How about an Asian Massage. I can give you a green card if you’re sweet
Angry Asian Cookie: Good bye.

Webber1 BLOCKED and DELETED from IM contacts

RedDig: thanks for adding me to your IM buddies, and the release of your personal email address
Angry Asian Cookie: You’re welcome, happy Monday to you.
RedDig: What are your plans for tonight?
Angry Asian Cookie: Relaxting at home; nothing much – I had a busy day
Angry Asian Cookie: sorry typo “Relaxing”.
RedDig: Oh, not to worry Asians who fell from the boat make lots of typos, I’m getting accustom to it.
Angry Asian Cookie: Pardon me?
RedDig: Yes, when you fell of the boat and came here illegally it must have been so hard for you to learn the language. And you’ve been here how long? It must have taken you at least 15 years, correct?
Angry Asian Cookie: I have an issue with your comment about falling of the boat. That’s an insult for me, and other individuals who came to the US for valid reasons with legal consent.
RedDig: but isn’t that why you’re on this dating site? To get a green card? I’m can help, if you live up to the Asian traits of great *** and **** and ****
Angry Asian Cookie: I want to set the record straight, however it’s a waste of my effort. Good Bye; good luck with your search; I now understand why you’ve been looking for a partner for over 3 years.

RedDig BLOCKED and DELETED from IM contacts.


Carl_3: you’re quite communicative, that’s pleasant. I like our chats thus far.
Angry Asian Cookie: Thanks for the kind compliments
Carl_3: I know you Asian girls value [appreciate] money, a car and houses a lot. As a matter of fact, I think Asian women are the most realistic creatures on this planet with selecting men based on credit ratings, income and status. How much do you make annual? I think I’ll apply some Asian Philosophy here J to me Asians have a great reputation.
Angry Asian Cookie: Pardon me????? You’re making jokes - correct?
Carl_3: Of Course not, be proud of your reputation - btw I make 167 K a year and I have a BMW. Girl: you’re so sexy it’s worth every penny.
Angry Asian Cookie: I’m still digesting your comments. Where along the road of communication did I give you the impression that I selected you [to explore a possible friendship] based on your financial status????
Angry Asian Cookie: You know what never mind.
Carl_3: you didn’t, it’s an assumption. I never met an Asian woman who isn’t out hunting for money and a White Sugar daddy.
Angry Asian Cookie: Yes of course because we allure towards white men because they all have small genitals, and an even smaller brain. Hey, continue to express your stereo types, I’m sure you’ll make some great friends along your journey. Good Bye.

Carl_3 BLOCKED and DELETED from IM Contacts.




All I can say is that as an European Asian Woman, I’m astonished with the oblivious stigmas individuals impose on others with audacity, and without valid data. The last conversation I had, inspired me to write an author who was recently interviewed by the Washington Post. I made some calls to Dr. H. and I got David’s email address.

This is a part of my letter to David.

As a busy professional online dating is my default dating resource. And after
some sad, funny, and hilarious experiences I've decided to blog my conversations
with individuals and/or experiences. In the DC area dating with credentials such
as mine, intimidates men [PhD; successful; independent; sexy *smile*].
I
believe that my date[s] should be equally yoked, and have relevant parallels
with my own mind of quality. In addition I'm fighting a stigma that Asian
American women manifested in at least this Metro area. Via a popular online
dating site I received over 3000 hits needless to say I had to re-post a new
profile due to vulgar, non-realistic responses and similar expectations.
Stigmas were demonstrated via comments as: Are you looking for green card?
Did you fall of the boat recently; is it true that Asian women enjoy performing
oral sex?
.
The disparities between European Asians, African Americans,
American Asians, and Caucasians are in my modest opinion huge. Most
conversations remain superficial, display of interest has a random correlation
with how much money I make, what type of car I drive, what type of house I
purchased, and of course no real interest in what moves my spirit and/or my
mind. I believe we do live in a decade were we women are considered equally
yoked; however it intimidates most men especially when we make more money. The
men I've been dating recently I selected because of similar interests most of
them are high level professionals but I most emphasize that it was not an
assessment criteria. For the record: I don't date several men at the same time,
but after a lack of interest I would move on to explore other
individuals.

As an Asian European I'm stunned that an element such
as financial security appears to be a dominant factor as we assess our potential
partners. In addition: when men discover in later stage of dating that you are educated, and financially healthy, their manhood machismo instantly manifests/swift itself in different areas of the relationship or personality traits.

Condemning comments that were made are regarding money and
education:
Oh, you're Asian of course you have a degree; Asian women are
gold diggers even when they make a lot of money. What connected us prior to
revealing status, income and education becomes irrelevant. The display of such
disrespect raise my eyebrows, and that's an understatement.

My point to David was that we Asian women seemed to be doomed: we’re either considered intelligent money hunters or we’re uneducated sex slaves looking for a Sugar Dad.

I don’t fit in the box that was designed by ignorant people, but sometimes I wish I could live up to this image, and execute opportunistic behavior and selfishness. I’ll get myself a fat, ugly old retired white man with a small genitals; a hair piece; a million dollar account, and a Ferrari.

Enjoy JLo's video: "My love don't cost a thing"

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com