Dragon Confessions

Last night I was invited to a social event in one of DC's hottest places to be www.dragonconfessions.com.

Erwin is the sweetest and a very talented young man. There was a DJ present ; a fantastic fashion show and I had invited one of my friends who I have been working with professionally www.jezign.com. In the confession booth I made some unbelievable confession - I had so much fun with Rafael who was the MC/ camera coordinator. i stick-ed to the virgin cocktails and they were absolutely delicious.  While partying I had a manicure and my eyes done - I thought I deserved it after such a long and draining day. I had no chance to change my outfit for the party so I was pretty casual but wearing my sexy white boots. Of course I couldn't walk on them but hey who cares .. lol

Both King and DD were texting back and forth about the event and it felt good that they were supportive about my plans for that evening.  King is opening up so much that it makes my heart sing. I'm wrapping up in DC and it feels good that I have a future in CA and maybe with King. 

I was gushing over King with Fitness Guru when he told me again I was playing the field. I was shocked he still perceived me as a player. His perception is founded on the fact that we went out and after that I wasn't really interested in pursuing a relationship with him. He couldn't be further away from the truth. In his opinion I like being single and want to have bites of several cookies. Maintaining a friendship after assessing you and an individual are not compatible is in my dictionary not playing a field. The option of a relationship is closed, but I don't see why we cannot be friends. Having many friends who have some what of a crush on me, this is not a exception. Does that make me a player? I don't think so.

As a matter of fact, ever since I've been in love with King I don't like to be single because I now know what it is to miss a companion when he's not around. And I miss him when we don't speak with each other. I'm planning to see him for a weekend, it would do both of us good. We haven't seen each other since the end of January. I also want to visit and hang out with DD

I have to confess that I do enjoy DD's conversations but I'm committed to King and the sense of belonging is strong. I don't get tempted to explore DD further then what we have now but I know he's mature enough to handle that unlike other's...

Back into the KINGdom

The Tornado not only hit in our area, but it also hit me like lightning when I text King about the tornado. he immediately called with a sincere concern in his voice.
The entire night King and I spoke - actually it was him reassuring me that everything was going to be alright. When Vlindertje and I finally fell asleep, I later on saw that he had not hang up the phone until minutes later. This morning 7:00 am EST, he checked in on me again. He confirmed he listened to my breathing until he was sure I was fast asleep before he hang up. We text messaged during the day. But the highlight of my King experience was when we spoke for 2 hours about us. The intensity and the purest connection we both acknowledged and felt, is amazing. Have you ever met a person who can finish your sentences because your minds are similarly configured? Have you ever met a person who can close his eyes or not physically see you, and tell you exactly what the expression is on your face when he talks to you without words? Have you ever met a person who, wants to built castles and dreams with you for the sake of the future without dwelling in the past? I have, and that instant moment, I knew what I knew deep in my heart for months - King is my soul mate. I was scared and that distracted me from what was staring at me from the day we met: a beautiful, creative and loving soul who understands my desires and weaknesses because he recognized them in himself. A soul who can search and reach beyond the means of believe because he'll create what he wants to be created. A person who is true to his values regardless what the world requires of him.


I'm back on track to my KINGdom, and I'm planning to stay there 'till eternity....






Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Signs of Love Making

I've been twisted between feelings (emotions) and thoughts (rational) for a while.  Those of you who've been regular readers of my blog, know by now I have developed strong feelings for King. Via Blogcatalog I became acquainted with DD. Although we've never physical met, we have great conversations and we are creatively collaborating on a new writing project.  On my birthday - April 8Th. All my friends had spoiled me to death, my brother threw me a surprise birthday bash, he invited the needy children in a close by community, and we donated money to my favorite charity, In addition my Maman flew over, that was a huge birthday present.  Both DD and King were thoughtful enough to acknowledge my birthday and it made me smile. Persian and I met a couple of times, and I feel so connected to him.

As Fitness Guru once said Angry Asian Cookie: you are a man in a woman's body - you treat man as man would treat a woman.  And he might be true, I am falling for three man at the same time. But I must admit if I encounter all the rational reasons and make an analysis [as if you can calculate love] this would be the outcome

Parameters	King	Persian	DD
Age	good match 38 vs 29	28 vs 29 not sure if it work	43 vs  29
Astrology Sign	LEO [July Leo]	LEO [July Leo]  (same b-day as LION!!)	Libra (possible mis-match?)
Distance	DC-CA	DC	DC-CA
Communication	Smooth-Easy-Fun-Sexy	Smooth-Easy-Fun-Sexy	Smooth, fun sexy  but with minor restrictions
Chemistry	WOW	WOW	Not Sure
Intellectual compatibility	Amazing	Amazing	Good
Chivalry	Very Masculine	Charming Masculine	Charming and Thoughtful
Parent Skills	Mind blowing	n/a	good parent
Creativity	Very much and focused	in his job and @volleyball	Very much and inspiring
initiation	somewhat slow unless he feels he can come to the rescue or I'm endangered	Each day	very thoughtful

I know deep in my heart that Libra's and me don't work in the long run. I also know that a man should be willing to participate in Vlindertjes life. Creativity is an essential part of my life, which make King and DD a much better choice then Persian. For now and developing a relationship Persian has the best opportunity to come closer to my heart- he lives close by. King is somewhat laid back and leaves the communication initiative to me unless he feels he can be the protector or when he feels DD and I talk too frequently for his taste.  Although it's too early to make a definite choice, I feel I cannot continue with these mixed feelings. I like all of them for different or similar reasons. Deep in my heart I hoped that King and I would have hit it off already and if we had, nor DD or Persian would even had a chance. So there's something that's holding me back.  Persian is relatively young - at least younger then my usual preference date.  I've onl dated African American men before I met Persian, but that is not an issue for me anymore. If I would fall for Persian then he and I would have to deal with a long distance relationship because I'm in the process of moving to CA. 

I never met DD in real life, and my experience with online dating is not that great. In fact it has been an disaster.  King has close relationships with his family, in fact his brother lives next doors and so does him Mom, No chance in hell that he will ever move from there. King also has a list of admirers and in his occupation he is/will facing a lot of temptations. Everyone knows that in the entertainment world marriage and relationships end as fast and easy as a google search lol.  I also know he has traditional and very conservative ideas about relationships which are quite reassuring. 

All the signs are out there. it's a matter of doing the math and go with my guts. i cannot continue to be shattered all over the place. It's unfair to them, to me  and I'm ready to answer to the Signs of Love Making.  

If anyone has any tips to make my decision easier ??????

Update!

It's been awhile that I've been posting messages on my blog for several reasons:

• all my laptops,  and PCs either crashed, died or malfunctioned;
• my efforts to repair a fairly new laptop was journey to hell - thanks Gateway;
• I was dealing with multiple challenges at the same time

Dating Up date

    Persian

Lots has happened. After my reunion with Persian, that same weekend I didn't contact him. I can tell you this - I had his business card in my hand on Saturday and Sunday but didn't had the guts to pick up the phone and dial his number. I consulted my friends Mos, Camy, and Dr. H and all advised me to call him.  I felt confused after our kiss and my feelings for King. 

On Monday I decided to call Persian. Before even picking up the phone, I practiced what I would say  when he would pick up the phone. It was so pathetic that I even wrote down what I intended to say. I almost felt as a high school girl. When I finally had the guts to call' I was redirected to his voice mail. I'm ashamed to tell but I hang up the phone. ohh.. it was  sooooooo girlie and immature. 

The second time around, I managed to leave him a message:

Hey Persian - this is Angry Asian Cookie. As promised I would give you a buzz. I hope you had a fabulous weekend and I look forward to hear all about it. Please do give me a call back after retrieving my message.

After five  very, very long minutes, my cell rang:

Persian: So you finally decided to pick up the phone and give me a call?

Angryasiancookie: Hey Persian ... good to hear from you.. sorry Persian that it took me so long  to get back at you.

Persian: I'm glad you did. It's good to hear your voice - it compliments the image that I have of us kissing...

Angryasiancookie: uhhh. well uhmmm ehhh..

Persian:[chuckles] Are you blushing? and looking for words..? Amazing - you're never without a wit response.. you look cute when you blush

Angryasiancookie:  uhhh well uhhh I'm not blushing..

Persian: sure you're not.. 

Angryasiancookie: can we change the subject to your weekend??!! How was your weekend?

Persian: My weekend was great; I was expecting your call though..I had a birthday party; danced; coached my  volleyball team to the qualifications. And you? Did you think about me ?

Angryasiancookie: oh, that sounds like a great weekend...yes, I thought of you briefly.. [ahh why did I say that?!!]

Persian: briefly? Oh that's my ego dropping on the floor....

Angryasiancookie: you're silly 

Persian: that indicates that you and I should spend more time together. Do you want to grab a coffee later on today?

Angryasiancookie: I'm at Busboys... as we speak

Persian: I can be there in 10 

Angryasiancookie: ohh no - don't stress your schedule let's meet another time

Persian: I want to seize the moment and kiss you.

Angryaasiancookie: but I'm not dressed to meet you.

Persian: good-  no clothes are necessary,  but hmmm you created a killing field of men out there didn't you?  [chuckles]

Angryasiancookie: you're nuts - I meant I'm wearing my professional and boring attire..

Persian: Baby .. with or without clothes it's you I'll see. Be here in 10 

Persian hung up the phone. 

Persian and  I met and we did kiss again. I felt awkward and yet blissful. I thought about King Then I told Persian about King and my developing feelings for him. I also shared my growing friendship with DD. Persian responded with: " Angryasiancookie: I don't see a ring on your finger but do admire your honesty. Let's take it one step at the time". I have no intention to lose contact with you and I want us to connect and be close friends.".

When we left the establishment I was still a bit confused but I smiled all day.

Mos responded - after I shared my  Persian experience -:"Maybe this is karma, and should you stay in DC".  Persian and I continued to see each other; about that later. 

  King

Although King and I don't talk on a daily base like DD and I. When we talk it seems as if I'm talking to myself, like as twin souls. The engaging conversations are as warm streaming water caressing my body; his voice is soothing; our souls simply connect.  Our relationship approach is simultaneous which makes our interaction smooth and understanding. I did tell him what happened with Persian.  He responded that he wants to visit me, and we should anticipate on my relocation.  When I was robbed last week - about that later- he was livid and so concerned. He checked in on  me the whole evening. It was so endearing while I'm writing this piece he's in Vegas at a marathon and trying to assure me that I will never have to be afraid again when he's there to protect me. Now how can I not melt for that??? 

DD

DD and I speak almost every day. He writes just like me and we started writing jointly on a children's book. He's so sweet, creative, caring and intelligent. How can I not like him?

Books and other Updates

 My poetry is scheduled to be published within two weeks. When I was on the radio with Alan Currie, I met Bennie Randall on the live chat of the show. Bennie and I started to communicate and I shared some of my poetry. Bennie gave me some great advice regarding the publishing of my books.  I would recommend you to take a look at  www.bennierandall.com.

He has interesting material posted on the site.

Ton

My friend Ton passed last week. I was fortunate to celebrate his life in Milan. He will always be my Angel. 

Virgo

Virgo and I never met but we do chat and talk on the phone a lot. The last few times he insists that we should meet but to be quite honest with you, I have my hands full with DD, King and Persian. Virgo is cool though.

Fitness Guru 

I have kept my distance with Fitness Guru. Primarily because he's too nice and we simply are no match. He once mentioned I was clueless regarding men; and I was like a man in woman's body.In addition I felt as if he felt some resent after we met - mentioned that he had to jump through hoops to see me that one time. I feel bad about that, but I cannot help my feelings. In fact I don't feel any connection at all other then a platonic friendship. He called the other day after sending me a text.  When he mentioned he was staring at a picture of my lips and how they would fit his ...... I tuned off, when he mentioned he was extremely excited, I had to end the conversation. It's hard for me to deal with an awkward moment as this one. 

Laptops, Pcs; Ipods

All my laptops and my desktops died at the same time. My efforts to get them fixed were unsuccessful. After my experiences with the customers service of Dell and Gateway, I decided to buy a new Mac. And I love my Mac!

I'll never write about my previous marriage or my divorce and I'll keep it that way. One thing though: I had an apple Ipod and I had bought one for my popper ex as well. After the divorce I found out he had switched my Ipod for a fake version and sold mine. It was not a big deal, if it made the popper happy so be it. With my Mac I bought both me and Vlindertje an Ipod. I'm struggling with the transition of data from my old tops and desk soon I'll be able to listen to my music again. 

I'll keep you posted now I'm back online!

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Persian

I had an internal dialog if I should post this story or not but it's part of the dynamics in my single life and dating experiences. In one of my first posts, I'd shared about an [one-date] experience with a younger men/boy. I also expressed on several occasions to have a very strong dating preference for brothers. I vouched never to date younger again; and never to date other then brothers. My Maman always tells me: never say never.

Last year May I met an young attorney via a business associate. At that point I was not dating, or even remotely interested in dating. I could not ignore that this attorney was stunning; intelligent; sweet but I wasn't interested and focused on other priorities. He gave me his business card, we spoke a couple of times and exchanged some emails but lost contact. On Wednesday, I bumped into him again while I was in Maryland for a meeting. We couldn't stop smiling, and hugging- it was so good to see him. He's still breathtaking gorgeous, charming, and so extremely sweet that I cannot believe I ever lost contact with him. There was this older lady that watched us sitting on a bench talking; she came over to tell us she loves to see a young couple in love. Of course I blushed, and had no clue where to look. Persian [the attorney] smiled from ear to ear, and told the lady that we were very much in love. After she left Persian looked me deep in my eyes and said: "It's Karma, now we have to fall in love". I looked at him, and it suddenly strikes me what a wonderful man he is. Everything is against all odds - if I have to take my my dating preference in consideration:

1. He's Persian and not African American- my dating preference;
2. He's one year younger then me;
3. He has a lean body type and I normally prefer large or men with some extra pounds

I'm pretty guarded, and very shy around men but holding him and being hold by him felt incredible. He made me melt even more then Lion. He held my hand, and surprisingly I allowed him to do so. He said: "You never left my heart, my thoughts and you're even more breathtaking then in the last dream I had of you". Normally I would bitch that "I did not give you permission to do that", but for some reason he made me speechless. He has this fresh scent, and beautiful brown eyes [with the longest eye lashes you can imagine] so wide open that they provide a mirror to his soul. Talking to him is as easy as with King. Oh, Gosh King... I cannot think of him now. Persian and I talked for hours and we both lost track of time. I rescheduled my appointments for the day and he took the afternoon off. We talked and held hands until 7 PM.

When we had to go home, we both felt shy and awkward. Then he said: "I think we should honor the old lady". Before I could respond he KISSED me so tender and soft that I almost fainted. We kissed. KISSED. You might think: Ah, so what??!! I don't kiss on the first date, that only happened once. He does not meet my dating preferences but totally swept me off my feet. I mean TOTALLY. And now I'm confused. Where is this going?????????? What about King? What about my growing interest in DD? I'm relocating to CA; just finalized the details. How is an infatuation for Persian effecting my projected plans. It's absurd.

This is why I hesitate to publish this but if I don't, there will be a gap in the dating and life story of Angry Asian cookie. He gave me his business card again;wrote down his number and told me to call/email him this weekend. I'm sitting here staring at his card- should I call him or not. Should I, Should I ... oh, what should I do...

My Maman advised me to call him, so did my brother. It's midnight here, I mailed and text King; text DD and I'm sitting here pondering with total confusion about Persian. Beautiful and so sweet tasting Persian. What should I do........Maybe I should call Shabooty to ask him for advise; he might even know him.

Huggzz Dahlings

angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Birthday Count Down

Hey.. any plans for your birthday? My Virgo friend asked me today if I want to have dinner for my birthday. Birthday.. Birthday???! I completely forgot about my birthday. My new assignments, my other obligations, Ton, DD and King have been on my mind. Not so long after Virgo's call, Caribbean catched up with me:

Caribbean: Angry Asian Cookie, what are you doing on Tuesday?

Angry Asian Cookie: Not sure yet Caribbean. What's up on Tuesday?

Caribbean: isn't that your birthday?

Angry Asian Cookie: Ahhhhh.. it is on Tuesday... Not sure yet, maybe I'll take Vlindertje out. To be quite frank, I haven't given it a thought yet - you are the second person asking me this..but I squashed it away.

Caribbean: Let's go out for dinner.

Angry Asian Cookie: Let's discuss that later tonight

Camy: Snookie, I was looking into flying over to DC and spend some time with you on your birthday.

Angry Asian Cookie: oh, that's so thoughtful of you. I'm not sure yet what I'll do. But I'll let you know. Don't book a flight yet, ok Camy?

Dr. H: Paris, Boston, Amsterdam where do you want to go to on your birthday?

Angry Asian Cookie: don't know Pansje. I might want to spend it at home or ask Maman to fly over

Dr. H.: it's your birthday Papillion. I'll call you tomorrow for your final thoughts.

Besides Vlindertje and Maman, I would want to spend time with King on my birthday. Great to hear that my friends want to spend time with me, but I want to be with King. Tonight I'm flying to Milan, to meet Ton and his man for a crash visit. I'll be back for my birthday, and continue to post on this blog while I'm in Milan. King doesn't call/text and email me that frequently anymore. The distance is becoming an issue for him. In addition: our last conversation regarding DD, also made him shy away a bit. Leo's in general don't like to be teased with the thought of other players in the room. They insist and demand full attention and here's the thing: I long to provide him my full and focused attention however everyone knows when you do, you become less attractive to the guy because the hunt is not as challenging anymore; why are men so complicated??!!

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Player

After I spoke with DD last night about our mutual interests such as work, I had a conversation with Fitness Guru. Fitness Guru and I met via a dating site a while ago, and we are still communicating. After meeting him once I felt that he was not a good match me. He's a darling but not for me. I like the more dangerous guys, who are creative, mysterious and intellectual on the same page as me. I switch into friendship mode after the first meeting. Now and then I ask him for advise regarding men or situations I'm in. Camy has been such friend and so is Samsonite. Today Fitness Guru asked me if I ever thought of it how sharing my stories and issues with men, might be selfish. And I was a bit taken off guard.
"Did it ever occur to you that even if you're in friendship mode and talk about the guy that you're interested with another male friend, this male friend might not want to hear about it. He might want to be with you. while you are gushing over another guy.." so did Fitness Guru say. "Did it occur to you that you - Angry Asian Cookie - might be a man in a woman's body? You treat men as men would treat women.. You go out on a date, then when their interested in you, you're not and you move on. The ones who treat you as garbage, you feel attracted to them, but the regular Joe cannot capture your attention"

OMG. am I a player? If I revisit my dates and the men I feel attracted to, I must admit I do feel attracted to men who are inapproachable, dangerous; exciting and don't pay me much of attention. The guys that bore me are showering me with attention, phone calls, sweet talk et cetera. Or they are temporarily chasuble but when they're emotionally attached to me, I'm not interested in them anymore. King is far away, he's not calling or mailing me 24/7, our status is still insecure although he mentioned he looked forward to make a baby and love the baby and me a lot. And shortly after he told me that, I found myself remotely interested in DD. Camy has been in love with me since I had piggy tails, but I was never interested in Camy romantically because he's too kind.

Am I a player? Am I? Now, I need to eat some chocolate.. I'm confused.


Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Jealousy

I spoke with Camy, one of my closest friends [see my first post on this blog] We catched up and spoke abit about the recession in the US. He told me CA has a deficit of over 4 million, and then adviced me not to relocate to CA... I had to give it a thought. And when I did, my phone rang and my new acquaintance DD was on the other line. DD lives in LA and is person who can hold an engaging conversation; he's interesting; intelligent; creative; funny and has the talent to actually listen to me and my verbal diarrhea. Actually I like him, our conversations last for hours without getting bored. Why are the cutiest men, in CA???? He invited me to visit him in LA and I might do that to be honest with you.

When I spoke to King last night and we spoke about his movie career, it crossed my mind to introduce him to DD. I heard this little voice telling me; You play with fire but Aries girl here decided not to listen to her inner voice. King was interested in DD's background, and then asked me: Do you think he'll be jealous of me? And it put a little smile on my face.. I responded with: Of course he will darling, who wouldn't you're sooo sexy. Remember, a Leo needs the admiration and Aries love to stroke a Leo's ego and purrr. He started to laugh out loud and my heart was jumping up and down again. He has a wonderful smile. After we hang up, I felt so good about our conversation, First and foremost because he, and I are so much on the same page regarding relationships. It's amazing everytime again..We're both not in a rush but at the same time we are..

This morning I text DD because he crossed my mind, and it was a bit odd because I almost felt as if I was cheating on King. He and King do have much commodities occupation wise, and creative aspects; their passions and so on. And DD is a good listener. Am I playing with fire? I know King would not be amused if I would have intense conversations with DD. Still, I like DD and to me there's nothing wrong with that.






Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

To Be or Not to Be

King and I talked last night and this morning. Although I have been chatting with a few new acquaintances, he manages to keep me intrigued by sharing bits and pieces of what's going on in his life. I still haven't figured out how, and if I want to deal with the madness of his professional and personal life. I'm flying to Milan but will be back next week. Ton's Spirit is leaving soon thus I do want to be close to him [and his boyfriend] when his Sunset arrives. It appears as if King understand that it's key for me to fly to Milan, but the underlying feeling is that he believes I should fly to CA and be with him prior to my Milan trip. For me it's impossible to accommodate his wish. As much as I desire to be with him; spend time with him-the reality is that I have Vlindertje; and other immediate issues requiring my attention. Of all people in the whole wide world, I'm falling for a guy who momentarily lives thousands of miles away. Are we both solid enough to-for starters-, maintain a long distance relationship?

I try not to call him each day or each moment he's crossing my mind. With every moment of joy, or a new experience, warm rain falling on my face; music that lift's my heart up, or when I receive a text from him- I want to tell him how much he means to me, and how hearing his voice makes me smile; how much I long to share every little accomplishment and moments of joy with him. I hope one day I can tell him how the thought of his hands holding the curves of my waist make me shiver; how my thoughts of him are nourishing the curves of my mind, and how he inspires me to dream, write and love again. Oh, Silly Bridget Jones.. Am I soliciting for a heartache?

I don't want to hold back, but I don't want to smother him with my emotions and feelings either. Why do we have to think about feelings and the consequences of our expressions for the appropriate "launching" of feelings and emotions? What about spontaneity? People who are close to me, are surprised how cautious I am with King. This, normally fiery and blunt Angry Asian Cookie, seems to be tamed by the King. Or is it my subconsciousness telling me: If he's the real deal - this only happens once in a life time - Fragile Caution handle with care ....

Do you guys have any idea how hard this is for a girl with Aries in Venus; Sun;Mercury; and Saturn??!! To Be or Not to Be that's the question?

Meanwhile all I can do is look at his picture's

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

The Heat is On

Did you notice the change of weather? Spring is in the Air! Spring is my favorite season for several reasons: the trees are blossoming; the air is filled with the sweet fragrance of the wild flowers and the sun; and people smile more often.


On occasion I wonder if the change of seasons make men's hormones change gears along with the change of seasons. For example:

7:35 AM
1. Walking down the street, a man asked me how I'm doing; I respond friendly and another business card is provided with a request if I want to join the individual for dinner. I decline and the individual still insist on taking me out for dinner. I refused again; the individual starts to sing me a song and embarrass me in front of the public. I walk into the closest breakfast bar and lock myself up until the coast is clear.

8:14 AM
On the phone with associate whom I have known for several years without ever one hint of romantic expressions. Individual starts whisper that he woke up thinking of me and was wondering if he could join me to Paris next time and have a romantic walk along the Seine.
Luckily for me after reminding him that I never mix professional and personal life, he stops hinting about an romantic rendezvous and gets grumpy.


10:22 AM
Receive an email message from an individual I haven't spoken with for a year. He asked me if we can catch up soon. In addition he hopes I'm still available. Individual is normally very guarded...

12: 09 PM

Start Belly Dance Work out after eating my salade. King sent text, telling me that today I'm the sweetest mama and his princess. He remembers how his hands fits the curves of my waist and how his thoughts of me curves his mind. King is very expressive but not that explicit via text. I wonder what triggered him to sent me the text. I did like it!


3:54 PM
Friend sent me a raunchy ecard via Facebook with two people having intercourse on top of two M&M letting me know he was thinking to try that out with his girlfriend, asking me for advise regarding the temperature in the house and the melting point of M&M's. He continues into the details, which made me decide to delete the post

4:11 PM
Dr. H. calls, asking me if I can fly to NY to cheer up one of his Ivy League buddies who needs a hot woman on his arms for a social function since his wife suffers from a diagnosed social disorder of verbal diarrhea hence his inability of bringing her to this occasion. After 30 minutes of listening how terrible the budd's life is, I tell my brother I will give Ivy League a call. I call Ivy League and he picks up the phone - we casually talk before I hit the chaperon issue when he starts crying. His blurbs sound like: cold nights... she only wants to talk... lonely... talks about negatively about his parents and their sex life in public ... how he gets a h.... even when he thinks of his..... mother... Ok, that's the moment I drop the phone out of my hands and ask him if he could repeat himself. Yes, he tells me that he even fantasize about his mom.... Ivy League tells me, I don't have to worry about a dress; f I could wear one of his mom's favorite dresses to the Gala ball that night. This is the point where I tell him we're off. I wonder if the wife knows about the Oedipus complex. I call my brother and inform him about my decision. He's in shock.


6:30 PM
Call from the person who by accident received my text with personal picture that was intended to hit King's mail box. He asks me if I would consider to have drink with him, because it's such a wonderful evening. I not only told him no, I asked him not to call me again. Gosh, major embarrassment.

7:00 PM
Pick up Vlindertje from dance class, one of the dad's casually talks with me and then asks if we can do a play date next week in Olive and Garden. I frown and tell him that's not a place where children can play and have fun. He agrees and says that the playdate would be for him and me.....

8:00 PM Back home from work out. After Vlindertje has gone to bed, I take a bath and reflect on my day and wonder.... what was going on with all these men today????????? Was the heat on???????? Is it the Spring that impacts the hormones??? Although Spring is my favorite season, I do hope this will not continue all Spring.



.





Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

My Personality Type is ENJF

I did the Myers-Briggs test awhile ago, and I'm sharing the results ENJF.

The Visionary Idealists called Teachers are abstract in their thought and speech, cooperative in their style of achieving goals, and directive and extroverted in their interpersonal relations.

Learning in the young has to be beckoned forth, teased out from its hiding place, or, as suggested by the word "education," it has to be "educed." by an individual with educative capabilities. Such a one is the eNFj, thus rightly called the educative mentor or Teacher for short. The Teacher is especially capable of educing or calling forth those inner potentials each learner possesses. Even as children the Teachers may attract a gathering of other children ready to follow their lead in play or work. And they lead without seeming to do so.

Teachers expect the very best of those around them, and this expectation, usually expressed as enthusiastic encouragement, motivates action in others and the desire to live up to their expectations. Teachers have the charming characteristic of taking for granted that their expectations will be met, their implicit commands obeyed, never doubting that people will want to do what they suggest. And, more often than not, people do, because this type has extraordinary charisma.


The Teachers are found in no more than 2 or 3 percent of the population. They like to have things settled and arranged. They prefer to plan both work and social engagements ahead of time and tend to be absolutely reliable in honoring these commitments. At the same time, Teachers are very much at home in complex situations which require the juggling of much data with little pre-planning. An experienced Teacher group leader can dream up, effortlessly, and almost endlessly, activities for groups to engage in, and stimulating roles for members of the group to play. In some Teachers, inspired by the responsiveness of their students or followers, this can amount to genius which other types find hard to emulate. Such ability to preside without planning reminds us somewhat of an Provider, but the latter acts more as a master of ceremonies than as a leader of groups.

Providers are natural hosts and hostesses, making sure that each guest is well looked after at social gatherings, or that the right things are expressed on traditional occasions, such as weddings, funerals, graduations, and the like. In much the same way, Teachers value harmonious human relations about all else, can handle people with charm and concern, and are usually popular wherever they are. But Teachers are not so much social as educational leaders, interested primarily in the personal growth and development of others, and less in attending to their social needs.

Mikhail Gorbachev, Oprah Winfrey, Pope John Paul II, Ralph Nader, John Wooden, and Margaret Mead are examples of Teacher Visionary Idealists.


Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Don Lewis about DMXs Pistol .....

Don Lewis to Angryasiancookie

Took his M-F'in Guns!!???
That sucks.

At last. A 'coming together' between a black New Jersey urban rapper and a white Idaho rural blogger.
Let the dialog begin.

Angryasiancookie:

I'll be there as a secondant. of course I have to measure all the heavy machinery first......
*smile*


Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Miles on DMX: What the F*** is a Barack

---------- Forwarded message ----------

From: miles noreply-comment@blogger.com

Date: Mon, Mar 24, 2008 at 4:31 PM

Subject: [Angry Asian Cookie Dates 365 Days In DC]

New comment on DMX : What the F**K is a Barack??!!!!.

To: angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

miles has left a new comment on your post "DMX : What the F**K is a Barack??!!!!":

I had just heard about this recently - it's pretty funny - it also demonstrates why Rappers should NOT be held up as Role Models in the Black Community.I don't think you can get enough Disclaimers - MTV should run disclaimers anytime a rapper is on television : "this person is not an informed citizen, and is only an entertainer, please do not try to be like this person. be your own person instead."What's sad is often these rappers are the ones you see on T.V. - these are the ones who get movie roles, and are

interviewed by magazines - they are propped up as role models, whether

they express interest in being one, or in not being one.So, without disclaimers people begin looking up to them, and forming ideas that follow, theirs.But ... these are not the people to follow.

Posted by miles to Angry Asian Cookie Dates 365 Days In DC at March 24, 2008 1:31 PM

Miles I totally I agree with you. I laughed out loud after reading the article, but it is sad that a role model such as DMX apparently has no clue who Barack Obama is and in addition feels violated b/c of the raid for weapons in his house. I read in another interview they also found dead dogs and numerous Pitt Bulls without water and food in his house that was raided. He has not yet been charged for animal cruelty.

To be quite honest with you as a very young teen I thought DMX was the hottest Rapper in the scene. Reading about public life [such as arrests, DUI and so forth],to me he lost all his hotness. Sure he is physical attractive but common' you cannot ignore his personality...

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

DMX : What the F**K is a Barack??!!!!

I cannot stop laughing. This article is tooo funny....


This is a copy of the interview taken from http://www.xxlmag.com/online/?p=20332



DMX: 'What the F**k is a Barack?!

'10 votes ? by Kev Kharas Artists:
DMXWords: Kev Kharas Posted: 19 Mar '08, 15:43

It's been a while since we dropped in on DMX… what's he up to now, we ask ourselves, on seeing this thread pop up over on the left-hand side of our front page?

For anyone who doesn't read the boards, the rapper was interviewed by XXLMag.com last Friday (14 Mar) on various subjects – among them the continuing presidential race in the US.

Before that though, XXL asked DMX about what he's been doing since the release of his last new studio album Year of the Dog… Again in 2006.
"Life," replied the Baltimore-born rapper, real name Earl Simmons; "I been up to that. It's been crazy.
Fuckin' police keep on fuckin' raiding my house and shit for nothing. Sounds pretty shady, Earl. Really, for nothing? "They took all my fuckin' guns." That'll be the guns, then. "All they did is take is take my guns. All they fuckin' do is fuck my house up and take my guns. That's all they did. Straight robbed me—that's what they did."

On, to the presidential race and the very real possibility that a black man may be elected to run what's probably still the world's most powerful country for the first time, like, ever 'n' shit.

While DrownedinSound isn't suggesting that DMX has to have an opinion of any kind on the sole basis that he too is a black male, you'd expect the man to at least know the names of the prospective candidates. Surely? No? OK.

Again, the following exchange is taken straight from the article at XXLMag.com.

- - - Are you following the presidential race?

Not at all.

You're not?
You know there's a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there's Hillary Clinton.

His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.

Barack?! Barack. What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.

Barack Obama? Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain't no fuckin' name, yo. That ain't that nigga's name. You can't be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You're telling me you haven't heard about him before.

I ain't really paying much attention. I mean, it's pretty big if a Black… Wow, Barack! The nigga's name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain't his fuckin' name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, "Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit" [laughs] "That ain't your fuckin' name." Your momma ain't name you no damn Barack.

So you're not following the race. You can't vote right?

Nope.

Is that why you're not following it?

No, because it's just—it doesn't matter. They're gonna do what they're gonna do. It doesn't really make a difference. These are the last years. But it would be pretty big if we had a first Black president. That would be huge. I mean, I guess…. What, they gon' give a dog a bone? There you go. Ooh, we have a Black president now. They should've done that shit a long time ago, we wouldn't be in the fuckin' position we in now. With world war coming up right now.
They done fucked this shit up then give it to the Black people, 'Here you take it. Take my mess.'

- - - DMX plans to release a pair of new albums later this year, both Walk With Me Now and You'll Fly With Me Later will arrive through Bodog Music.


Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Comment on my post from the author

The author wrote me back, You can read his response. I think we should all buy his book. Sometimes the truth is hard and painful, but I appreciate the truth above everything else [can you hear the Aries girl talking ...]




Comment on my previous blog post: http://angryasiancookie.blogspot.com/search/label/Chocolate

Thank you for writing I appreciate the conversation.

If I understand your questions, you want to know how come you can’t be yourself in a relationship or how can you be your authentic self in a relationship, especially when you have feeling. In the first part you actually answered your own question.



“I feel unfortunate that I'm not a promiscuous girl. I wish I was, I wish I could jump from one bed or man into the other but that's not me. Not because I don't enjoy sex 24/7 but I don't feel it is me and the right thing to do. I have been in my life with less men then I can count on one hand Did I date and do I date”



Most women are like you they aren’t interest or don’t have the internal need to have multi sexual partners; whereas men instinctively do. We can analyze it 100 different ways. And at the end of the day men are men with basic needs and women are women. Both will behave based on their genetic makeup, which was encoded when caveman existed. Modern men behave are a new concept. The other point is that you being a mom and a female know what it feels like to love someone or something unconditionally.



The only person you can love unconditionally is your child and they are the only person or people you ever really know. You’ll only know your child until about the age of 13 – at which time they begin to have their own lives and secrets. Loving your child or a pet is different than loving a man… The difference being…



1. You don’t know the man you are with. And he doesn’t know you. I guarantee you both have secret that you’ll never share with each other. Even if the secret is something that you live out in your head, (maybe you want a threesome – maybe you want to be rich – maybe it’s a childhood experience that you would like to forget) whatever it is or whatever you want or need you aren’t going to share with you partner – for whatever reason.



2. We are all evidence of being conditioned by society. We are influenced by our parents, schools, friends, media, church etc. As a result we are insecure, live in fear, pain, doubt etc. So are the men you are dating are influenced and you have to know how to deal with these influences. I get it you don’t want to play game and that you want to love someone unconditionally.



The question is how can you love someone unconditionally who is conditioned? When you go to work do you show up as your authentic self? When you don’t want to be bothered do you tell your boss… f*** off? When you go to your kid’s PTA, school meeting or play dates do you show up as your authentic self? No we all play the game to get the job done. We all put on the happy face at work. If we don’t we all be fired etc. Do you think Oprah, David Letterman, Leno likes every guest!!!!



When children come into the world they arrive as their authentic selves, until we as parent stomp that idea. Kids in school can’t be their authentic selves because we encourage them with unrealistic expectation. For example – most parents have the same grade objective which is for their kids to get straight A’s. I’ve never heard a parent say get straight B’s or mix it up with A’s B’s or C’s. Have you? When we tell our kids to get straight A’s aren’t we teaching our kids to be their authentic selves we are teaching them to play a game. Not all kids love history or math equally. Your child might love math, therefore get an A.





The men you are or have dated were at one time in grade school they too were told to get straight A’s. The point is we are all conditioned by our influences. Unfortunately we can’t walk through life being our authentic selves 100% of the time and in 100% situations; relationships are one of those area. Ironically, when a man shows up being his authentic self and adores you unconditionally you aren’t interested. You’ll call him boring or needy. Very few people want someone to drown them in unconditional love and attention. We all like the chase. I hope this makes sense…








Written by the author of http://www.ifyoulikechocolateeatchocolate.blogspot.com





It does make sense but does it mean that even if we say or feel we want to be loved unconditionally that we don't really grasp the consequences of unconditional love? If I read the author's response correctly we want to be chased and not smothered. I like to be chased but ultimately I want unconditional love from a masculine man. I desire a man who still loves his football, has his boys night out, do his own things but loves me unconditional. Roooaaar, men are so complicated uhhhh. I agree with the author regarding the unconditional love for my child and the conditions and dynamics of our society. A great book is written about that topic: the Monster convenant by Carolien Roodvoets. Everyone who is interested in these dynamics and how it defines our personality and relationships, it is a must to read!
Meanwhile, I'm taking of my bunny suit and go out again for a walk. I'll join the dogs in the park barking because I still sound like dog or a smokin' sailor uhhhh








Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Poetry - Suave

Sweetest Love, Honey Love, Suave Love
No more sense of sensing the foregone now I've met your spirit
I cannot desist your sweet soft sound, that sends me high to the finest stellar in my sky.

I fall apart, falling deep and hard, for you my love - for you
Your spirit and soul took over control so fast as a beam of lightning, almost frightening
Your consciences, keep me wide awake as an addict for the sweetest Chardonnay,
so suave

Gently I drink, lip you as liquid into me
Your velvet thoughts nourish, and remain deep within
Just like a waterfall you're there around it all
You stare at me from everywhere you stare
Now I shine in my bare naked emotions
it makes me fall, falling deep and elusive
Spin, Spinning until I twine into the conceiving of your dreams
Alluring and seductively I soar on the air you breathe
Imagine our love making, my moonlight, gleam as a beacon in the night
Float on the waves of suave passions now elude, elude and never be out of my sight



copyright © lotus tresor marie 2008

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Chocolate Rocks!

Last night I was restless - I'm still suffering from a cold; I had no more chocolate left in the house; I couldn't go out dancing hence my miserable feeling, and I had not spoken to King because I didn't feel like it. I read some French and Italian Fashion magazine's; boiled eggs for my baby girl so we can decorate them for Easter and then I started to reflect on the last couple of weeks and my previous relationships.

I remembered the blog I had read from Anthony Miner: http://www.ifyoulikechocolateeatchocolate.blogspot.com

You should check his blog out he has some substantial posts. To cut along story short. This chocolate rocked my world. It's maybe an overstatement however it added to my moments of reflection.

I decided to write the author of this blog a note. Hey, I was out of chocolate; felt miserable; why not bother another person with my misery [I'm teasing of course...]

This is what I wrote to him:

Hello: I've been reading your blog over and over again. Gosh, if any of what you wrote is true I fell into all the common traps...And I LOVE chocolate. lol. I want to ask you something.

Have you seen the movie "Two can play that game"? There's an pre- "Two can play that game" - Angry Asian Cookie and a post- "Two can play that game"- Angry Asian Cookie.

Pre: I was playing cool, not giving in on emotional needs although I had/have them. Did my own thing with my girls;watch sports; go to games without my BF. and so on. If a guy didn't like me or wandered to much according to my taste: so what??? - life moves on and so did I.

Post: What if I really like[d] a guy, why am I denying that I feel what I feel?
I want to respond the way I feel like responding, and if he doesn't like it f*** him. I move on. I always kept my own life; with a demanding job; a kid; my girls; see a movie by myself; write poetry; cook for friends; watch football with my male friends and so on.
When I read your blog, I can see the common "mistakes" I make/made, but Anthony what if that is who I am and what if I want to be authentic and real?

Why do I have to be a person I'm not, to attract a guy and keep him??
If that is the case, he won't be with me for me.... And if all what you wrote is true [and I do believe it, don't get me wrong.. ] A man isn't even worth "losing" the real me because at the end he'll cheat anyways....

Here's my question: If every man is a potential cheater and I believe your hypothesis, then why should a woman dance this dance to ultimately lose her dignity; her own self-respect; and him - for what? How can this attitude change be beneficial for a woman??? Is it a man's world???

Then s*** men ... !!!!!

I feel unfortunate that I'm not a promiscuous girl. I wish I was, I wish I could jump from one bed or man into the other but that's not me. Not because I don't enjoy sex 24/7 but I don't feel it is me and the right thing to do. I have been in my life with less men then I can count on one hand. Did I date and do I date: Oh, absolutely.

So Mr. ifyoulikechocolateeatchocolate hence my infatuation for this particular CA man with a list of admirers I would according to your genesis lose him because of my configuration? Hmm, I might as well drop it like it's hot. (btw you do look hot *smile*) Or is there a way to be me and still be happily ever after?


I'm definitely curious about his response and I think I'll buy his book when it's out. Meanwhile... I need chocolate... It's great that when I feel sick, I lose weight and I can eat chocolate. I'm off to the store and buy me some...

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

A Perfect Day - Smile

PERFECT DAY FOR A WOMAN:
8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30 Weigh 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday.
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants.
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00 Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs..
1:00 Shopping with friends.

3:00 Nap.
4:00 A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer.
4:15 Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage
5:30 Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
10:00 Hot shower. Alone.
10:30 Make love.
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling. 1
1:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.

PERFECT DAY FOR A MAN:
6:00 Alarm.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Massive dump while reading the sports section.
7:00 Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and coffee.
7:30 Limo arrives.
7:45 Bloody Mary en route to airport.
8:15 Private jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45 Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.
11:45 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.
12:15 Blowjob.
12:30 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.
2:15 Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
2:30 Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap.
3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.
4:30 Catch world record light tackle marlin-1249 lbs.
5:00 Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel.
7:00 Watch CNN Newsflash. Bush resigns.
7:30 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20 Oz. New York strip.
9:00 Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
10:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:45 Go to bed.
11:50 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.
11:55 Laugh yourself to sleep.

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Friendship

I have been working on this post for a while before I decide to post it today. My friends from Paris and Amsterdam visited me and it was great to see them again. They brought me Giovanna Guglielmi and Maria Barros (Italian and Spanish designers), spring collection items. I hooked up one of my girls with my realtor a couple of weeks ago and they seem to enjoy each other's company. Although I was happy to see my girls, I was also a little bit annoyed by the fact that the girl who I hooked up with my realtor apparently came to DC a couple of days ago and only came for a crash visit with me.
She and I have been friends since kindergarten. And to me, my friendships with my home girls are more important then a guy. Now, you spend five days with my realtor without given me a call you're in town, and when you do visit me you stay for 30 minutes.. COME ON....

Then in addition to this, I felt a little bit upset about King. Well not King himself but issues that involved him. We're both busy people and that's a good thing. We talk intensively about various subjects and our conversations are of substance. He's in CA and I'm in DC and we knew there would be a time were it would be hard for us to deal with the long distance part of our developing friendship. I made it clear to him that I'm only focusing on him. Again I'm an 101 man-woman person, in fact I told several of my admirers about King. Maybe a little bit premature but, I want to be honest and clear about where I stand and what I want. Nobody else has my full attention and devotion. Today I had left him a note on his website. A sweet note from me to him to let him know I was thinking of him. And I posted it anonymous but with words he and I only know. Then all over the sudden I saw that some of his fans had left him messages such as:
Oh what a nice comment you made about the pictures I've sent you. Oh, we should hook up some time.. call me.. I miss you.

There were a couple of those messages and I'm sure the pics he received were x rated - I'm not a possessive person, or very insecure. I only hope he's as clear about his feelings for me as I am about my feelings for him. It doesn't leave me a good feeling if he would continue to "feed" certain behavior while he and I are developing our friendship. Maybe men think differently, I don't know. I really don't. Bottom line is that I'm a bit sensitive this week. Friendship, loyalty and honesty are so important to me. Ultimately I want King to be my best friend, but that takes time. We do need to spend time together physically, but I also have a life with friends, aspirations, a friend who's dying, my Vlindertje, my relocation, a new career.. I cannot just drop that for him although he would like to have me in CA yesterday. Do I trust him, especially considering his position, his profession and so on. Yes, so far I do. Am I prepared [if we develop our friendship into a relationship] to deal with adoring fans on a daily basis? I'm not sure if I want/can deal with that.

Normally as an Aries, I would take action before I think. However, I've hit my head too many times that way. So this post is b/c letter to myself. This week I had some great moments with King; extremely spiritual and bonding, let me focus on that. He wants me to be there with him, that counts as well. So maybe I should brush this feeling off my shoulders. Or not...And what exactly is it that I feel...? It is most of all discomfort, I believe. Yes, that's the word. Discomfort in a developing friendship. How odd..


To be continued.

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Power outage + Making Babies

Last night my community suffered from a power outage. I was in the middle of a story when it happened. My optimistic approach on situation as this is to create an opportunity to conduct activities different from the from the usual. Vlindertje was already in bed, when this occurred. I decided to find all the candles in the house; turn on some mood music and add an incense to fill the room with an sweet scent to make it even better.
I text King to share this moment. To be honest I wished he was there. Then I fooled around by referring to the facts that power outage could stimulate people into making babies. I seductively invited him to make a baby with me which is hard to do considering the fact he was CA sitting on a bench writing his screen play; watching the sea and I'm in DC. He then responded that he would love to make a baby with me and that our baby would be so beautiful and loved by the both of us.


Did I tell you that I'm silent when he talks, and when he says nothing at all manages to say it the best as well... I was silent. so silent and my heart was filled with joy. In his voice I could hear how serious he was about us having a baby. After a few, we started to kick around again and I finally went back to sleep ....to wake up in the middle of the night when every light turned on again...


According to a science article on ABC the largest blackout in history, the one of August 14, 2003, that affected some 50 million people in the northeast of the USA, and parts of Canada and the babies conceived were tremendous.





Of course I still believe that we should practise and practise before we actually hit a pot of gold....

a child of King and me would look like this...

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com